During the last 14 mo, both of my parents have passed away. In both cases, my family asked that donations be made to two specific charities that were dear to my parents, rather than having people send flowers. Many followed these wishes, but a there were a few people who made donations that have me bothered. Instead of making a donation to our requested charities, these folks instead made donations to charities that were dear to themselves. Some donations were even to their own local community charities, far on the other side of the U.S. from where my parents lived. Of course, I will write them thank-you cards for their memorial donations just like any other, but is it proper for them to have made the donation to a charity not on our list in the first place? It seems very self-serving to me. Just wondering. Thanks.

© Fund My Stuff for Fund My Stuff, 2010. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Donations, Etiquette, memorial

My husband and I are recently married and it is the holiday season. We are very short on money.

Today I just found out that a girl I used to babysit died of a drug overdose or of something drug-related. I used to be best friends with her sister and as the family lived down the street, we were always at each others’ houses. I live in another state now and can’t go there, plus the funeral is family only/private.

In the obituary, they ask for donations for a drug treatment facility. I think it would be more suitable to give to this facility in the deceased’s name than it would be to send flowers to the family. What is the etiquette for doing this? Do I donate and also send a card to the family? I don’t care if they know that I donated or not, but I want them to know that I am thinking of them. I am not sure if the facility will give a list of donors to the family. What is appropriate in this situation? My last name has also changed; how do I sign?

Thanks,
Tara

© Fund My Stuff for Fund My Stuff, 2010. | Permalink | 11 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Charity, deceased's, Donating, Etiquette, Family, Request

Here’s the deal, I have been asked to call local companies and ask for door prize donations for our high school reunion. The problem I have is that I don’t feel like that is a very proper thing to do. Community and Charity events, I see where this would be okay but a high school reunion, come on? My second problem is telling the committee that I don’t agree with that and I don’t want to do it! Any etiquette advice about this that I could share with them? Anything, please!

© Fund My Stuff for Fund My Stuff, 2010. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: About, Asking, Donations, Etiquette, high, Question, reunion, School

My mother continues to give $50 in my name on my birthdays and Christmas to a charity I have nothing to do with. She sends a nice card with a copy of the letter she sent to the charity. Shouldn’t she be making all these donations to the charity I donate my money and time to? I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I don’t think it’s a gift unless she’s giving to my charity of choice. Comments?

© Fund My Stuff for Fund My Stuff, 2010. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Charity, Donating, Etiquette, Gift, Giving, Instead, proper, What's